Blindness

Oh GOD, I was totally went emotional while lunch break. When I was done with my lunch, I saw a person coming along with a girl ( the girl was leading him by hand and she was one of the cashiers at the counter ). Then suddenly I realized he must be blind. And also since my university is facilitating handicapped people and famous for that, there are many people walk by me most of the time.

This guy, he looks innocent and good looking too. And I felt so sad for him that he couldn't see and I was thinking how on earth he is going to eat??? At the very moment I thought for my self will I be able to have my lunch when my eyes are closed? And when it feels all dark and I do not know where my food on the table. How they look like. How can I get appetite without looking delicious food? And also I though, if he is blind, he cannot use fork and spoon. I was totally lost with hundreds of thoughts and imaginations.

I saw he was asking something from the girl before she left. I pulled out my chair just to see how he is going to eat. He calmly touched the food and took the chips to his side from the tray. He touched the top of them and took one piece and ate it. Oh.. my GOD I do not know why I felt like that but I felt so sad, sorry and it encouraged me to thing that I do not appreciate the site I have. This is not that one of those lectures of something but its my own feelings. I questioned, why GOD he is like that. But this is really invalid in this context. I do not have answers for these. may be he is feeling different to these and about us.

I just came to the lab and wanted to note my feelings today in my blog before I forget about it. It was emotional....

thoughts on unity of all churches...

This week we had a dinner with some other churches around and a prayer week for the unity of the churches. As I heard it started about some hundred years ago and comes annually. In fact it is a good thing to have and after having dinner we had a discussion and Fr. Ed mentioned that after all it doesn't matter for what kind of a Christian you are but what matters is that who do you follow. In the end we should all be followers of Jesus. Hence we all seek one path. That is very true.

I was having some trouble these days and recently my faith and belief have come up with some surface cracks..... I didn't think of Providence and I did not care since I had all I wanted in the past. Even before I could have asked. But when I was directed in some strange paths in my life, I began to hesitate, scared and lonely. And I am afraid that it is a consequence of having lack of Faith in GOD. If you have faith, there is nothing to worry. And I am afraid that it seems like im loosing something.

This happened when I was questioning my faith and feeling bit mis placed in life. and there came some wordings written on the wall of that place saying " Be Still and know that I am GOD ". In fact this is what I was forgetting. And it struck and reminded me that I need to think and pay attention to this...........

Bible Study @Wright State

Yesterday, amidst of heavy snow fall, I managed to go to the first Bible Study of Campus Ministry @Wright State for this quarter. I was wondering why am I going there...??? And of course, I met a friend on my way and he asked where am I going. When I mentioned the reason, it seemed like odd. And in fact odd for most of us. And in this new year, one of my promises to myself was that I will do whatever right that looks to me without being dependent on others. So yesterday, I could have easily gone home and slept or watched tv in the coldest nights I ever had in my life. But I liked going there.

I also like to be with students who are catholics, who are different to others in thinking and doing, who are bold enough to give very little time of their life to GOD. Even going to Sunday masses seems like a big thing for most of us. What I think of that is, if we have 7 x 24 hours per week, isn't it possible to give 1 hour of those hours to GOD? That's my way of thinking and its completely my own idea and it may not be yours.

And yesterday, I met some new friends and met some of my old friends there for the first time in this year. We had some soup and biscuits :). Hmm..... it brings me memories I had back in University of Colombo. Keeping up with the church will help me always to encourage what I believe in. I just thought of putting in my thoughts about yesterday and this is it. :)

for the feast of Holy Family

And yet again, as on the Christmas day, I had the privilege ( may be over written :) ) to go to church on the following Sunday with one of my closest friends while being in USA. So it was reminding me as if I was back in Sri Lanka.

"Holy Family", the family that we all should take examples of to have a wonderful married life. The feast falls on just after the Christmas day on the following Sunday on every year. Holy Family is the family of Jesus Christ (in case you do not know) and it is the most holy family ever to be on earth. Mother Mary was so humble, very beautiful, kind and yet obeyed to GOD's will without any hesitation. St. Joseph, a father who is an example to all men, showed great courage in protecting the baby Jesus and Mother Mary from every harm which ever were on their way. His humbleness to accept the GOD's word and a virgin having a child without a man and take all the blame from her and trust in GOD. Which in every case is not believed in any society to have a child without a man and also will any man dare to believe such a thing??? Jesus, a handsome and kind boy grew with them. Learned wood work from his earthly father and helped with his work until he began preaching. He listened to his parents every time and parents were always guiding him as GOD's wish. The family was blessed with Love and affection one couldn't ever imagine..........

All these thoughts came to my mind when I was thinking to write something on

this blog..... and it was one of my wishes on that Sunday to be in my own Holy Family one day. One of the greatest gifts I could ever ask from GOD. I do not expect a women who does not know how to manage a home or teach a child how to grow up in GOD's way. I do not want a girl who does not believe in GOD or does not want to help others in any way possible or at least encourage. I do not want anyone who complains about life and doesn't believe on building a good life together. She would be heavenly to me.... "Heavenly" includes everything I expect from her.

What GOD really wants from us, in fact me in particular is to be a living example to others to bring the kingdom among ourselves. When it is among ourselves you cannot imagine how beautiful it would be. And of course when I expect some qualities from her, I also will not be a person who divides work for man's work and woman's work. I know, having this kind of peaceful and calm family is not even possible on this earth..... But it is possible with Lord GOD and indeed possible.

Christmas dream.....

christmas is my favorite and favorite and most favorite season of the year. It may be because I love decorations so much and to get together with friends. Everyplace I look is lit and looks great. It also has great influence from my childhood also. I remember how I fell asleep on December 25th night to see the gift on the bed in the following morning. ohhhh..... what a joy I had when I see the gift on my bed and I still remember how hard I tried to be awake to see the "Santa". It was awesome and my heart filled with joy when I see the gift. And it was in grandma's place and yes... we all get together and celebrate Christmas. I get gifts from cousins and I also give them gifts. I remember, the amount of clothes I gather on that night is sufficient for me wear the whole year. And some of those clothes I still have in my closet.

Then I grew up and I realized gradually that "Santa" was once there and it was my parents who gave me gifts to make me happy. Ohh I love the season and being a Catholic.... :) Earlier we had natural Christmas trees every year and then we bought an artificial Christmas tree when I was in high school (Every year prices of natural trees went high). And gradually ornaments to hang on the tree became excess each year..... I bought from over seas also because .... I do not know or may be I like the season very much and like to see home decorated.....

With each year.... I grew up and had everything I could have asked from GOD. I was blessed and granted everything and I am thankful to that and praise him. And I have a dream and I know for sure that "HE" also know that very well. The everlasting beautiful dream I have and it is in fact my dream which will come true in future as I trust in Lord GOD. Because of his guidance I was always able to keep my dream live to be come true. He will not let it die or be a mirage.


Every man has a dream of having a good time ahead with a good woman. Or else most of them has this kind of an intention at least. what a wonderful it would be to decorate the christmas tree being in a happy family of your own. I will bring stuff home and she will be cooking tasty food for the Christmas and children will roam around and run here and there inside the house with joy and I will decorate everywhere with them. hang ornaments and light. She may occasionally help us with a "magical touch" :D . I will also definitely help with her work. It should be a collaborative work as I think of it. I can do it and I will do it.

I will make every effort to make my children also to feel as I felt during the Christmas season. Secret gifts and bring "Santa Clause" to their lives. Make it enjoyable to their tiny little hearts. And their mom will always be sweet to them and also to me.. :) . I will always like to hold her hands when I sleep and she will always be happy to be mine forever. If I see a dream, it will always be about us. our happy moments ahead of us. And how GOD's grace come upon us. And I am sure GOD will give me a good patient heart to be lovely with them always. And she will have a mild heart to govern the entire home with love. And I wonder how wonderful it is to have a home filled with joy, happiness and love. What else I can ask from GOD instead of these???

And I will always love her and she also. And we will always keep in mind to have close relationship with GOD which will lead us to everlasting happiness. I will always wake up in the morning having her by my side. And if I get up early, it would be lovely to see her sleep in peace. The peace which is true in nature that comes from inner heart. What a blessed life it would be..... Kids will always be lovely too since they are gifts from the GOD. it would be my honest duty to keep them faithful to him. And I will. We will go to church together every Sunday. We will make best effort to have at least 5 minutes every day before him. I have understood that keeping that relationship is very important in my life. I would never expect for her to do everything for me. She will not be a servant in my home. in fact in our home. The world's nicest HOME ever not with money but with peace and joy. It will be always be lit by Holy Ghost. then we will not be in temptation for the best of our efforts for not to be.

In fact I will have enough money to keep them all happy but I may not be the world's richest person. But it would be enough for us. She will often remind me to help others in case if I forget. Kids will not be fighting with others but be eager to help others and engage in good work with the church. I cannot imagine how great it would be when we go along with GOD and how GOD's kingdom will be among us always.

I am pretty sure that I have a wonderful dream and in fact a very peaceful one that looks fascinating and feels great indeed. I believe this dream will only be satisfied with GOD's blessings and will. I am sure that it will become true in the future that I always prayed for.......

Merry Christmas.

Am I understanding the meaning of Christmas anymore.....?

hmm... Today at the holy mass, it struck my heart with tremendous shock. Father asked, "do we still remember christmas is our saviors B'Day and we should give him a gift other than asking for us and in fact other than these fancy things we do in this season do we really keep in mind the great occasion of this moment???".

And yes, sometimes, no most of the time I am concentrated on fancy things of this christmas season every year. Getting gifts, decorating, singing carols and doing every possible fancy things but not the important thing. What is the present we are going to give to baby Jesus Christ? That I have to think about.

Christmas...... !

season changes
its getting colder day by day
snow flakes falling
a dream coming true
to have X'Mas
spent in USA....... :)