is it the end of the world?

Recently, there was much talk going on the world is going to end. The most recent one was saying it is last May 21st. I do not know much about that person but he said what he inferred from the Holy Bible. But one thing I should say that I know is that there isn't any place that you can find that the Holy Bible says the world will end this exact date. What it says is to b ready for it to be any day.

This week, one of my friends sent me a link regarding this may 21st issue. Many who does not know the holy Bible, haven't read enough or think they know say Catholics said that the world was going to end last May 21st. Jesus said that you need to be ready for that judgment day because GOD only knows when it is and it could be next minute, next day or in many years and so on. So how one can claim that the world ends on this exact date if GOD only knows that? I had common sense and basic understanding about this and I even didn't bothered about what people say about the end of the world.

It is another issue that I am not living exactly what I want to and be good as I imagine. In fact I personally believe I wasn't ready if it was last May 21st. Anyways, know the holy Bible, read it enough so that you will know what these people or false prophets claim is not that true. I just wrote this blog post to express my thoughts on this and let my friends know that the time is really unknown....

Spring retreat part II

I will start where I ended last time. I got a good bed and a room which is in high standards compared to my previous retreat experiences (obvious that I am in a developed country). I was able to get up around 7 am (as usual for the second or third alarm). Almost every time I forgot that I am with some foreigners. I was wondering and thinking like I was with them for a long time. The bond I have with my CSM members back home made me feel the same here no matter the difference of the environment.

I always got welcoming wishes from everybody and I kept getting closer to the set of strangers. in fact I felt they are no more strangers. After having the breakfast, it was the time to choose one of your prayer choices and follow that for the morning session. The choices were rosary, way of the cross, painting or drawing in prayers sketching your thoughts in free mind or do the brethren. I chose brethren since I never heard of that. It is a curved path that you follow remembering your life journey, difficulties or any thing that you wish to share with God (that is the idea I got this time and it may be different). It was actually good experience. The weather was quite cold compared to yesterday though. I spent some quiet time there and then we headed towards the room.

then before the lunch it wa the time to one-on-one discussions along walkways for an hour or so. I was paired with Nick Jobe and it was very nice. We talked about various things and I think I spoke too much there :). We exchanged thoughts about our thoughts and he liked my sharing and I was happy that in developed countries you can find faithful people to God. Most importantly I am happy to be friendly with these wonderful people. Then we had lunch. After quite some time I had all american food for all meals for a weekend. Then it was the play time all evening.

Guys went outside to play frisbee and it was windy in front so we played for some time in the back yard. One by one came and joined and it was the time to play the Ultimate Frisbee game. I haven't played that game before and the rules are abit like rugby but you play it with the frisbee. We went to a bigger playing area in front and I was in the Jedidiah's team. The game is played between two teams. Each team has to pass the frisbee from one side to the other and if you miss it and hits the ground, its time for the other team to carry it towards your goal post. Once you catch the frisbee you can't run, you have to pass that. You have to catch the frisbee between the goal posts to get a point. Its an awesome game :). fun. We played for few hours until we felt it was enough. At the same time there was a Prom night photo shoot at the venue. I have never seen a Prom other than in movies. It was a good experience as well.

Then after the game we were chatting and hanging out in the building. Jedidiah played the Piano in the lobby and I was enjoying it very much. Christian, Aaron and two girls played cards. I was having good time..... Then in the evening we had reconciliation program and a service. After that we had a bon fire. Its a fire made outside and people gather around that and roast some marsh mellows and eat, chat and etc. Brandon tried hard to make the fire bright but it was difficult since the wood was somewhat wet. But we had a good fire. hmm good time again. After some time some went inside again to lay some games. We played mafia again. Now I was getting to know the game well. Suddenly Jessie came and said fire is going down and Brandon ran to fire it up again. But he was too late and we all came inside since it seemed like fire had died so far. Some were talking about various things and I said I could show them some videos of Sri Lanka which I had in my lap top. They were amazed and happy that it is a beautiful country :).

It was around 2 am in the morning then. We some went outside again. Hanging out near the island and Christian brought hit fighting swords and they played with them for some time. Then someone brought out a strange idea of driving out for a coffee. Brandon at once second it and we set off. Brandon, Aaron, Jessi ad Marissa in Brandon's car, Christian, Jedidiah and me in Christian's car. Brandon headed the way saying he will show the way. Actually he drove for 30 mins and it was eventually abit far :). what to do? Some drank coffee listening to Brandon's talks :). When we came back it was around 4 am in the morning. Some were already asleep in the car. ha ha ha. nice outing. That was it for all saturday and what a day I had. good friends ad good days.

Sunday morning, we had breakfast and then after a short discussion we had the mass and the program came to an end. All left taking the lunch and man it was a good weekend. It helped me to get many new friends and get abit closer to God as well. I was happy that I made the decision to go on the retreat. It made a good environment for me be in the rest of my stay here. I now have more opportunity to work closely with the church and with people. I am happy.....

Spring Retreat - part 1

A month before Easter week, I got to know there is a retreat organized by the Catholic Campus Ministry of Wright State. I had no idea what this retreat was and wondering whether to go on this. In fact when I was an undergrad in Sri Lanka, we used to organize retreats once a year. I only had 4 years as an undergrad and when I remember those years they were unforgettable solely because of the time I had in Catholic Students' Movement activities. I shall also say that our unit was the best among other universities. No doubt about that. Others always wait to see what is coming out of us. We always introduced new things and activities. Printing a t-shirt annually is one such thing. Talking about my CSM memories can be set aside for now. I will talk about it later. This is about my new experience....

Sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel enthusiasm. All because I am in a new country and living alone. I have been living in my home country for a very long and suddenly I had to come to a totally strange environment. The only consolation I have is God and trying to get closer to him. Sunday mass is one such thing. So the retreat also has very little cost compares to living expenses and rest is covered by some funds. Since it had some charge, I was thinking whether to go on this or not. Furthermore these people are not that familiar to me as well. Then one day I talked to Brandan about this and asked what is the schedule and what is going on. It seemed like the same thing we did earlier. So one positive thing. I do not know how it happened and I decided to participate.

On the same week when the retreat is organized we were having mid term exam for a core course. So I was really busy and wasn't thinking about the retreat but studying and doing many other work. Exam was on Thursday and just as it was over I was thinking about the retreat. I was abit scared and also more happier. It might be of thinking like going on a trip. I was scared because I am a stranger here. My color is not matching as well. All those thoughts were going on. Above all, I was happy that I was going on that on Friday. I packed the bag and waited until Friday evening. Christian phoned me and said he's ready to go and I left the lab to meet them at the church. I had mixed feeling at that time. happy and scared.

I told Theresa that I need car pooling since I do not have a vehicle. So Me, Christian, Eva and Jedadiah set off by Christian's car. I talked with them on the way and they were really nice. I met Jeradiah on wednesdays at Bible study but I haven't talked with Christian and his sister even though we occasionally meet at Sunday mass. We had to get dinner on the way and we stopped at the restaurant and I have never been to there. We ordered breakfast menu. I had no idea on that menu and I asked Christian to order what ever he orders. I got pan-cakes and it was delicious. I really enjoyed them. At the end Christan paid the bill for all of us. Such a nice guy.

Even though Christian had a GPS he never turned that on and we missed the road on the way and had to find the way back using the GPS. that was fun though. When we reached the place, Maria Stein, it was around 7 45 pm. Most of them know each other and I am the stranger. There was the welcome talk and then we had some play time. They played Ninja. I didn't because I have played that before. While there were playing, I got a piece of paper and drew a sketch of their play. And I got some good comments from girls. That was a positive sign and a move.

So then they started playing Mafia. It seemed like a cool game and I decided to play even though I didn't have any clue. Gino helped me with all the information and I played the game until almost the end. They didn't kill me because they might not know me well or gave me a chance :) . It was a really cool game. very interesting and thrilling. One of the most exiting group games I have ever played. It was fun.

Then we had a walk in the outside late night. I am so grateful that they all welcomed me really well and I felt no discomfort. But once in a while I got reminded by my self that I am with foreigners. That is because I have slight skin color difference :) . But they didn't care as I guess and I neither. We walked around until 1 am. Some stayed outside and others went inside. I also stayed for some time outside hanging around for sometime ( near the lake shown here). I didn't wear shoes and felt cold. So I went inside. Some played inside, others waited outside. I was reading a book in the lobby found in that area and it was about some faith experience article. Many passed by stopped and spent some time with me. It was really nice for me. I was getting the feeling that it is the same. Very same things that we did when I was a undergrad when we went on retreats. I remember, CJ, Hasitha, Derrik, Susantha, Anton, Mahesh and many other friends (love u guys for those days). I am getting back those days again and I am thankful to GOD.

Then after sometime around 2 am, I went to sleep and wanting to get up early around 7 30 am and get ready for breakfast around 8 am. This is how my first retreat experience started on the first day and I was welcome really well and I am thankful to everyone for that. I got to know many here and made many friends. Good friends with great faith. The rest of the story to follow (next two days) .....

need to rise....

It was Easter Sunday yesterday and was a joyful one for most of us. Because, it symbolizes resurrection of Jesus and ultimately we all wish to be risen with him. He gave all of us a new hope and new way of thinking and making Lord our best friend and not some distance away and just worship. Easter also reminds the passover of the old testament and in the new testament, with Jesus we start a new journey. Journey that should be ended victoriously.

I thank God for giving me the strength for doing the intended things I imagined during the lenten period. And also towards the end giving me an opportunity to connect with him which might have been cracked or I do not know. He always invite us to come unto him and experience the unending joy and comfort he gives. So I wish I will be shown the way towards that....

I miss the holy week at home.... but

It can be considered as one of our family traditions for lent. From the time I can remember as a kid and even before I was able to grasp what is happening around me, I was there for the holy week. I get to know them by looking at analogue photographs and some are already fading out since they are more than two decades old. As I heard, even before I was born and and when my mom was a kid, they went there. When there was no vehicle at that period of time, they used bullock carts. Hence I see this as a family tradition. But I miss that this time. I am unable to go there. Now it has been declared as a national shrine(Thalawila, Sri Lanka). I wish all of them to find time to get closer to Lord.

Sometimes I wish I have the belief of my father. It is not a shame for me to admit that I am not that strong. To believe in Almighty's providence. I know we did not have any savings. But we were never short of anything. It is true that even though there were plenty of opportunities to get every possible luxurious comforts given the background. Sometimes I was frustrated. What the hell I can not be such rich or something. But when I look back and see on this Holy Thursday, my dad is right. I heard when I was small the saying.. "seek ye first his righteousness and then all these things shall be added unto to you..." . It is no shame to admit that sometimes I was hoping that from the righteousness of my father, Lord will grant me this and that. I also wasn't a lost one though. But I was not thinking enough and spending enough time with Lord to call him my best friend. I always wanted to say that but never tried hard enough. I may have thinking of taking that for granted.

It is absolutely wondrous how Jesus works through my life, our lives. I remember when I was there at Thalawila for the holy week last year, I desperately asked from Jesus one thing. I know or I might know asking and getting is not the relationship we want to have with Jesus. I asked him, Lord please let me be somewhere next year studying for my dreams I had from many years and that I may not be here for the next year. And I believe now he has listened to my prayers and I am not there this year. How I came here after all is also a miracle like thing. I do not want to talk about it now. Yet I was not having a good relationship with him for a while.

Suddenly for the last couple of weeks, I was hopeless for some reasons. And I said to Fr. also that I want to have a good relationship with Jesus and I think it was not happening. I was forgetting that whatever happens, he is there for me. But I was not searching for him. I was thinking, oh he is there and it is alright. I do not know how this happened, and I was thinking about him for the past couple of days. May be I was missing the holy week back at home but most importantly I am getting into the right way.

Accidentally it happened to me to watch Passion of the Christ these days. It reminded me how Jesus is there for me. And I was wondering how great his personality is. I do not know how to explain. I wish this will not be instant feeling. As I look back, I had these periodic changes in my life. When I was somewhat distant from Jesus, somehow he brings me in. Am I that worthy Lord??? I do not know. When you are close to him, there is a feeling yes, he is with me. A different kind of joy. The challenge is to keep it going and continue. He gives us enormous opportunities to make use of them to come to him. But I am busy with other work. But at least, I should try. How wonderful it will be when you have a true friend by your side who really cares about you. When you feel I have nothing to worry, he will take care of me. Whether it is good or bad, it is alright. I think my dad has this feeling. But I do not. But I want to. I want to Lord......


(this article may not be well written as I did not attempt to do so. I just wrote what came into my mind after coming home today from the church (Holy Thursday) )

Its hard to believe in people.....

"An intelligent person learns more from one rebuke than a fool learns from being beaten a hundred times." - Proverbs 17:10

When I heard "the news", I somehow randomly looked at the Holy Bible and this quote showed up. Actually it matches for what I was thinking. It is hard to Believe in People these days. We never know who are they and what are they? Because I cannot expect all the others to be the same as me. Yea, it is the fact. There isn't many people around us who learns from mistakes and be vise. Hence there are more fools around.

My mom told me this week, one day that one person we know has committed suicide. Oh.. it was full of surprise. He has been married to a really nice lady. Sometimes may be too nice. May be not compatible with the society. But that does not have anything to do with what has happened. And I asked mom, what has happened??? In fact, he has wasted millions of property and finally committed suicide. He seemed to have illegal marriages around the country. And eventually it came out that one day (actually on his wedding day as I remember what was told) one of his married ladies saw him with the woman related to us whom I am talking about. It seemed like he has given some money to keep her mouth shut in front of others to hide the fact that he has many women. I also heard that her father passed away of a heart attack after some time when this incident happened. I couldn't imagine how you feel when you have been betrayed. In fact I may understand.

Finally he ended his life by himself. Which in any case I not recommend. Because my life does not belong to me. At the funeral, there were some country men seen and one asked "hey where are you from and what are you doing here?" because it seemed odd to have that kind of people in the midst of other relatives. Then they have said that they are his cousins. They are construction workers. And the person of this funeral is said to be a "lawyer". What has happened is he has acted well in his own drama. He has named him self as a lawyer even though he himself is a construction worker. The village people from where he is from also believed he is a lawyer as he used to leave for work in the evening with a brief case and attire of a lawyer. Even the lady's party couldn't figured out until this moment that he in fact is not a lawyer. This is the closest incident to my surroundings that has happened something like this. How on earth I am going to believe this?

This leaves me with the conclusion that I will never understand people and never. The best I can do is to have an idea. In some cases even that is not possible. I now understand why my Dad used to say that the marriage or love is a sacrifice than any other thing. ....... .... ... .

Ash Wednesday........

Today is the starting day of the season of lent. We call it Ash Wednesday. This will be the first Easter I will be having out of Sri Lanka for the first time in my life. The context is changed but not the intentions or willingness to go to mass. Since it has been now over 9 months I am getting used to live here. For me, Ash Wednesday is a starting period of time which will give me some time to think about the way I live and my relationship with GOD. Even though I do not take advantage of the season as much as I would have imagined still it is good for a change in my life. As Father ed. mentioned during the sermon today, Jesus asked us to fast without letting others know and also not to show off. But today, we come out from the church saying that we are Christians by having a cross marked on out forehead. Why do we do this? May be just to symbolize that we were made from dust and we indeed turn into dust and to live our life remembering that. Not to b the center of the universe (a quote Fr. Ed always say :) ).

And again I feel strange. Some people do not want to be close to GOD or whatever they believe. Some have loads of stuff to do. But luckily I did not have much of a work today. But I am sure that even if I had heap of work, still I will go to church today. That indeed is one of many good things I learned from my parents. One may think going to church does not work but I say it helps. One can be at home and do all the good things, be good and everything. But again we need to connect with the GOD. So we have this opportunity in the mass. If I am not doing well in life then there should be a place for me to keep reminding me the good values. At least that opportunity is there if I go to church. I alone can not be the GOD but I can be with him.

Ash Wednesday actually brings hope. The hope of eternal life and hope with GOD. It is because why the hell I want to live this life if I am definitely going to be turned into dust at the end. But with the dust there is something more. The hope of rising again. And with the hope, may this be a peaceful and meaningful season of lent......