Its hard to believe in people.....

"An intelligent person learns more from one rebuke than a fool learns from being beaten a hundred times." - Proverbs 17:10

When I heard "the news", I somehow randomly looked at the Holy Bible and this quote showed up. Actually it matches for what I was thinking. It is hard to Believe in People these days. We never know who are they and what are they? Because I cannot expect all the others to be the same as me. Yea, it is the fact. There isn't many people around us who learns from mistakes and be vise. Hence there are more fools around.

My mom told me this week, one day that one person we know has committed suicide. Oh.. it was full of surprise. He has been married to a really nice lady. Sometimes may be too nice. May be not compatible with the society. But that does not have anything to do with what has happened. And I asked mom, what has happened??? In fact, he has wasted millions of property and finally committed suicide. He seemed to have illegal marriages around the country. And eventually it came out that one day (actually on his wedding day as I remember what was told) one of his married ladies saw him with the woman related to us whom I am talking about. It seemed like he has given some money to keep her mouth shut in front of others to hide the fact that he has many women. I also heard that her father passed away of a heart attack after some time when this incident happened. I couldn't imagine how you feel when you have been betrayed. In fact I may understand.

Finally he ended his life by himself. Which in any case I not recommend. Because my life does not belong to me. At the funeral, there were some country men seen and one asked "hey where are you from and what are you doing here?" because it seemed odd to have that kind of people in the midst of other relatives. Then they have said that they are his cousins. They are construction workers. And the person of this funeral is said to be a "lawyer". What has happened is he has acted well in his own drama. He has named him self as a lawyer even though he himself is a construction worker. The village people from where he is from also believed he is a lawyer as he used to leave for work in the evening with a brief case and attire of a lawyer. Even the lady's party couldn't figured out until this moment that he in fact is not a lawyer. This is the closest incident to my surroundings that has happened something like this. How on earth I am going to believe this?

This leaves me with the conclusion that I will never understand people and never. The best I can do is to have an idea. In some cases even that is not possible. I now understand why my Dad used to say that the marriage or love is a sacrifice than any other thing. ....... .... ... .

Ash Wednesday........

Today is the starting day of the season of lent. We call it Ash Wednesday. This will be the first Easter I will be having out of Sri Lanka for the first time in my life. The context is changed but not the intentions or willingness to go to mass. Since it has been now over 9 months I am getting used to live here. For me, Ash Wednesday is a starting period of time which will give me some time to think about the way I live and my relationship with GOD. Even though I do not take advantage of the season as much as I would have imagined still it is good for a change in my life. As Father ed. mentioned during the sermon today, Jesus asked us to fast without letting others know and also not to show off. But today, we come out from the church saying that we are Christians by having a cross marked on out forehead. Why do we do this? May be just to symbolize that we were made from dust and we indeed turn into dust and to live our life remembering that. Not to b the center of the universe (a quote Fr. Ed always say :) ).

And again I feel strange. Some people do not want to be close to GOD or whatever they believe. Some have loads of stuff to do. But luckily I did not have much of a work today. But I am sure that even if I had heap of work, still I will go to church today. That indeed is one of many good things I learned from my parents. One may think going to church does not work but I say it helps. One can be at home and do all the good things, be good and everything. But again we need to connect with the GOD. So we have this opportunity in the mass. If I am not doing well in life then there should be a place for me to keep reminding me the good values. At least that opportunity is there if I go to church. I alone can not be the GOD but I can be with him.

Ash Wednesday actually brings hope. The hope of eternal life and hope with GOD. It is because why the hell I want to live this life if I am definitely going to be turned into dust at the end. But with the dust there is something more. The hope of rising again. And with the hope, may this be a peaceful and meaningful season of lent......

lonely

Oh Lord, why do I feel so lonely sometimes. Season of Lent is around the corner. It feels like good time to have a close relationship with you. Help me Lord in my day to day life and hold me tight.